What's Your Pizza Personality?

by Amy Greene
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What’s your first memory of pizza?  I remember mine quite clearly.

I never tasted pizza until I was a teenager.  Yes – I know – you can close your mouths now – shocking!  But my parents were very traditional, and my mom was a true Southern Belle and one of the best cooks around.  She just never ventured outside Southern Food!

With the freedom of high school came the freedom of tasting other foods. And pizza was one of them. A new pizza joint opened near our high school and of course on Friday night we had to try it out after the game!

So our group headed there and I let my friends order, since I had no idea what I was eating.  I can still remember that first whiff as it landed on the table, seeing the melting cheese over the kitchen sink toppings, and that same cheese stringing from platter to plate

And OH that first BITE!  Burn to the roof of the mouth and all, that first bite began a lifelong love affair with pizza that continues to this day!  And a love of ALL things pizza related too!

With the pizza craziness lately here at Fringe, I got to thinking about one of my favorite observations when it comes to pizza – the different ways people eat their slice.   (Of course, you can't eat our bumpers - but they're so cool, why would you want to?)

I love to watch people eat ….. okay, wait – let me rephrase that creepy sounding statement LOL

If I am feeding people, I love to watch their enjoyment. But I also think it’s interesting to watch how 5 different people can eat the same food 5 different ways  - it’s fascinating!

In the interest of all things pizza, I thought it’d be cool to explore the ways people eat their pizza- believe it or not, there’s more than one way!

 WHAT'S YOUR PIZZA PERSONALITY?

FOLDED IN HALF

This was something I never knew about, until I met someone whose family was from New York. She swore this was the ONLY way to eat pizza and I thought it was crazy! But she explained folks buy slices on the street and this makes it easy to eat and walk (fast!) at the same time!  I see her point but …ummm…..I just don’t think I can eat it this way – can you?

 

I will say the type of people who seem to eat their pizza this way are always in a hurry – go go go – and are getting there fast! They gotta have one hand free to open doors, talk on the phone or wave a few choice finger signals to the crazy people around them!

PRIM AND PROPER

All right – Raise your hand if this is you – napkin tucked just so, fork and knife properly cutting small pieces of a pizza so that you don’t make a mess or burn your mouth (really? Is that even legal?)

I mean, I guess I can see it with a deep-dish slice – not sure how you can really pick up those overloaded pieces of heaven to be honest. But for the most part, eating pizza with utensils seems, I don’t know, just ODD!

This isn’t something I’ve seen much where I life (after all, we don’t do deep-dish much here!) but people who eat with napkins tucked just so are very refined and classy.  They don’t like getting dirty and they are very deliberate in what they do in all parts of life.  Is that you!

PINCH THE TOP

This seems more trouble than it’s worth – pinching the crust in half while the rest of the pizza stays straight.  Does it really help?

Some people say it’s the best way to drain grease and get a huge bit of all the pizza-y goodness while keeping a slice from bending.  I think it just seems like you can’t make up your mind.

I have been friends with exactly ONE person who did this. They never got into an argument, always knew how to stay neutral (didn’t agree or disagree LOL) and were very practical. Not all bad qualities I guess – but the pizza hold is still unusual. 

INSIDE OUT

While some say this is a new technique, I gotta tell you my kids have been doing this for year. They fold the pizza dough together and eat the toppings first.  I know – weird right?

Granted – they only eat cheese or pepperoni so they have less chance of a mess with toppings falling hither and yon, but this is a method they swear by – TOPPINGS FIRST NOT DOUGH is the battle cry!

And pretty much – they are adventurous and willing to try new things. You are a trend setter if you try this and love to lead the way with new ideas!

MULTIPLE LAYERS

Did you ever see Saturday Night Fever? This classic movie was one of the first times I ever saw the pizza stack maneuver.    Travolta’s character orders 2 slices of pizza and stacks one on the other as he struts down the street!

Multi-taskers and overachievers love this time saving method. You look for ways to save time – chips on your sandwich, fries in your shake – and you make everyone around you look like they’re going backwards!

BACK END FRONT

The only reason I can see eating a slice backwards?  Because it’s stuff with cheesy goodness.  However – I gotta say….how do you not DROP the stupid thing?

For me – anyone that eats pizza backwards is a rule breaker, rebellious and loves to go against the grain!  I think that’s true of anyone who eats backwards, don’t you?

CRUST ON THE PLATE

This is me – so totally me – I am always leaving pizza bones on the plate.  Why?  I think it’s because after I’m full on the toppings and cheese, the crust is just – YECK!

But trust me – those bones do NOT go to waste – dogs, cats and even other humans are always picking them up off my plate!  Go figure.

For the most part, the folks I’ve seen leave the crust (not saying this is me!) are very organized and keep things nice and neat.  Everything has a place and you can’t move their tools.  And – yes – those people even have their crusts lined up on the plate – weird.

JUST THE TOPS PLEASE

Do you eat just the toppings only, stripping a pizza and leave it nekkid on the plate?

I’ve been known to do this when I’ve eaten a slice or two or 3 and feel like I can’t eat more. Then find myself stripping the pepperoni and ham piece by piece from an unsuspecting piece.

Does that make me picky?  I don’t think so – I think it means I like to take things slow (pepperoni by pepperoni) and try to live in the moment – a nugget of ham at a time!  LOL

DEGREASER

You’re the one everyone stares at – you use up every napkin at the table to get rid of the grease on your “just one slice.”  Are you trying to make the rest of us feel bad? Drying out that pizza until it’s just toppings and sauce?   Or do you just not like grease stains on the clothing?

So if you’re a degreaser, you are a clean freak (no stains) and you fix problems immediately Even if it means robbing the entire table of their napkins to do so!

JUST DO IT

This is the regular way to eat – pick it up, cheese strings everywhere, burnt roof of the mouth  - you eat things like regular normal people- MESSY!

Most folks I know eat their pizza this way – toppings falling off and all.  They are usually straightforward in their approach to life and they take no BS from anyone around them.  They don’t care about trends, healthy lifestyle or anything else.   THEY JUST WANT THEIR PIZZA NOW!


 

So tell me – which way do you eat your pizza? Do my observations match your personality?  Let me know below in the comments! 

 


Amy Greene
Amy Greene

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